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| Sardar Ji Ka Jokes |
Jokes ??..??
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PART - 2
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| Boy and girl?! | You Will Find No Fish | |
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Whilst enjoying a drink with a buddy one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and go back to her place. Later, the young man pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. 'There might be some matches in the top drawer,' she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he inquires nervously. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend then?' 'No, don't be silly,' she says, nibbling away at his ear. 'Well, who is he then?' demands the bewildered fellow. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, 'That's me before the operation.' |
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A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky, "You will find no fish under that ice." The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He shrugs and starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under the ice." The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts: "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!" The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?" "No," the voice replied, "I am the manager of this hockey rink!" |
| 16 years of pain | Before and after! | |
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A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of a bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years until one daughter walks into the room in tears. 'What's wrong,' asks the mother. 'I was having a wee and this bullet came out,' replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later, the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. 'Mom, I was having a wee and this bullet came out.'The mother tells this daughter not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. 'It's okay,' says the mom, 'I know what happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out.' 'No,' says the boy, 'I was jerking off and I shot the dog.' |
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Before wedding - you are my heart,
you are my love Before wedding - you are sweet
and kind just like Cinderella Before wedding - Roses are red,
violets are blue Like it or not, I'm stuck with you Before wedding - He opens the
car door Before wedding - She was your
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| Newly wed fears... | ||
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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. 'Father,' he said, 'I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.' His father replied, 'Don't you love this girl?' 'Oh yes, very much,' he said,' but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.' 'No problem,' said dad, 'all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible,and always wear socks, even to bed.' Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. 'Mom,' she said, 'When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.' 'Honey,' her mother consoled, 'everyone has bad breath in the morning.' 'No, you don't understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.' Her mother said simply, 'Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth.' 'I shouldn't say good morning or anything?' the daughter asked. 'Not a word,' her mother affirmed. 'Well, it's certainly worth a try,' she thought. The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, 'What on earth are you doing?' 'Oh, my,' he replies, 'you've swallowed my sock!' |
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